If you’re stressed about money, you’re certainly not alone! A survey by the American Psychological Association shows that 77% of Americans are experiencing “significant” anxiety about their financial situation. 58% of people feel that finances control their lives and report difficulty managing their money related worries. If three quarters of us are walking around feeling so anxious, this has a huge impact on all of our lives, our health, and our relationships. In today’s post, I want to share what to look out for in how you may be affected in hopes that we can be more open about our worries and look out for each other.
One of the main reasons that people find financial stress so consuming is it feels so out of our control. Gas and grocery prices are rising so quickly, while our pay and economic opportunities feel at risk and unlikely to keep up. Unfortunately, finances are a topic that people find hard to talk about. It leads to feelings of shame and frustration because we feel alone with it all, not knowing that many others are experiencing the same thing. These realities are leading to physical and mental health consequences as high financial stress is a leading predictor of anxiety and depression. Individuals with significant debt are more likely to experience hopelessness, worthlessness, and severe psychological distress. This stress can lead to physical ailments including higher blood pressure and heart disease, indigestion and ulcers, insomnia, and a weakened immune system due to prolonged elevations in cortisol levels (our stress hormones).
Economic stress can also lead to changes in how we function in our daily lives. Financially stressed people are more likely to be distracted, have higher rates of missing work or being late, and are not as productive as they used to be. Stress drains our cognitive resources, studies showing it leads to a reduced ability for complex problem solving and short sighted decision making. We are less likely to be innovative or take risks when we are under financial stress, as we tend to become more rigid due to a sense of threat.
Financial issues significantly impact our relationships. Money is a primary source of marital conflict and it is estimated that it contributes to 20 – 40% of all divorces. Even if not leading to divorce, the family stress and conflict can spill over into interactions with children, resulting in harsher parenting and behavioral problems in youth. And financial stress leads to people to withdraw from social circles, due to embarrassment, shame, or the inability to afford to participate in activities that were a part of a social group. Most of us become irritable, angry, and tense when we face bills and expenses that we can’t afford and a rising sense of resentment at having to deprive ourselves of things we enjoy just to fill our gas tanks or repair an appliance that’s suddenly broken.
A number of studies have shown a cyclical link between financial stress and mental health issues. Financial problems lead to a decline in your mental health, which leads to difficulty managing your money. You may avoid paying bills, lose income by taking time off work, or lack the energy and resources to address the issues. The stress may also lead to substance abuse, overeating, impulsive buying, or other ways we try to cope. As a result, people can be trapped in a downward spiral of increasing money problems and declining mental health.
All of these sound familiar, right? When the majority of us are feeling stressed about money, it’s the norm! Acknowledging this can be a step to feeling better. During hard economic times, we are all affected. Things are happening on a bigger scale that’s not our fault nor could we control it. And there is just simply an element of luck to it all. Some industries are affected more than others and some have just better luck with timing than others. My courage at changing jobs last year is feeling a little shaky! Seeing this as an “us” problem instead of a “me” problem can reduce the stigma and feelings of worthlessness or isolation.
Also, by seeing it as an “us” problem, it makes it easier to talk about. Knowing that each of us is having our own variations of a shared problem is helpful. While you may not be comfortable sharing your financial situation specifically, we can open the door to one another by asking how people are doing in terms of their stress. We can share our own worries and resources, such as a ride share opportunity or other ways to assist with savings. And we all can help each other with our priorities. Maintaining our health is a shared priority goal. Remind people not to skip medical appointments or save by cutting out medications that are needed. Help the people you care about maintain the connections to the things they care about, even if it means doing it a little differently. It also helps to Invite people to go for walks or picnics instead of costlier options that might be stressful to attend.
It’s also supportive to validate and remind each other of the importance of their connection to us and of being who they are. Being acknowledged for our unique strengths and being appreciated for what we contribute really does reduce the sense of powerlessness that can creep in. And when talking with family about finances, it’s best to set aside time that’s right for both people, when we can be prepared and focused. Discuss how to make financial decisions and who can do what to share the load. Avoid blaming or taking on too much responsibility, reactions we tend to have when we’re stressed.
And most of all, we can cut each other some slack. Times are hard and we are all hurting. Humor is good, but not always appreciated. Political talk and action can be empowering, but not always right for everyone. Reaching out is good, but be sensitive and respectful in making assumptions. Generally, ask if you are not sure. Listen instead of talk. And don’t underestimate the power of just showing some kindness. When life seems too damn expensive, a simple home grown flower or baked good can be priceless.
