I was lucky enough to attend a beautiful Quinceanera quite recently.  It was a gorgeous event with many meaningful traditions, including tear-inducing toasts and a father daughter dance.  But the moment that most stood out to me was actually the evening before.  We were at the hall setting up with a bustling group of people steaming linens, moving tables, and arranging decorations.  Our honored young woman walked in and the look on her face was priceless, taking in the love all around her of people coming together to honor and affirm her.  It really reminded me just then of how important it is to feel seen, valued, and that you belong to a tribe of people who celebrate who you are and who you are becoming.

A rite of passage is a ritual or experience that marks a major milestone or change in a person’s life.  Modern rites of passage include graduations, proms, in addition to weddings and religious ceremonies.  The events have in common a social frame to assist someone into a new stage of life.  They make the life change official, in a way, as witnessed by a supportive community who guides the individual and provides a source of comfort and participation.  The term “rites of passage” was coined by Arnold van Gennep, a French anthropologist, in 1909, who observed the role of ceremony as a way of helping ease people through social transitions.

Rites of passage are so powerful because they serve many roles.  They provide a sense of renewal as they mark a new phase of life beginning.  They also provide a strong sense of belonging as they are conducted by and within a particular community.  Rites of passage can also provide a link to our past selves (tissues, please, for the slide show!) and they can also connect us to our past ancestry. The ceremonies tend to be full of meaningful ritual that is passed from generation to generation and can allow us to feel a continuity of identity in a larger scheme of time.  The rules and rituals regarding how to dress, what traditions are followed, and even the setting of the day and time create a sacred space.  This separates it as a special time devoted to highlighting the transition as unique and special, demarcating it as out of the ordinary and worthy of respect.

I am also keenly aware, as I hadn’t been prior to being a parent, of how important a rite of passage is not only for the individual, but for the people who love them, as well.  It creates an opportunity to formally articulate both the person’s strengths and beauty and their place in a family and community that is both cherished and evolving.  One of my favorite parts of a Bar or Bat Mitzvah is the concluding words of the parents addressed to their child.  Each is so unique, reflective of what that child has overcome and how they have stood out in a journey through childhood. A parent reflects on how their child has maintained continuity in their character, but also grown and changed in unpredictable and remarkable ways.  Rites of passage offer a time out to reflect on what is important and a vehicle through which this can be put into words and celebrated.  (I recall after each of my girls’ Bat Mitzvah other parents saying their child had said they wanted one as well, even if they weren’t Jewish!)

The loss of these beneficial opportunities during the pandemic restrictions was felt far and wide.  We did our best as communities to replace stadium graduations with virtual ceremonies and in person weddings with zoom ones, but I think we can all agree, they were not the same.  And in some ways, I think this is why it is even more important to maintain and provide opportunities for in person, real life rites of passage moving forward bringing people together.  Our young people are looking to social media for affirmation and a sense of belonging. The more we can provide a loving mirror to reflect and validate a young person’s strengths and provide a community that can hold and protect them along their journey of growth, the better it will be for all of us.  

In fact, it makes me think we need to find more ways to provide this all along the lifespan!  Why not have a ritual for turning 50!  Or a retirement ceremony that involves letting go of an old role and a transition to a new life order? We don’t need to make elaborate and expensive events or even invite many guests, but why not provide a sacred time honor our changes.  Besides, I learned a few good salsa steps at the Quinceanera that I just need to keep putting into action!

 

Okay, I have to confess. I’ve definitely not been my, shall we say, “best self” this week.  I’ve been cranky, lazy, and short tempered.  We don’t have air conditioning in my house and we’ve been under a prolonged “heat dome”  here in Northern California.  Usually I can make it through a day or two of 100 degrees maintaining my dignity, but as this heat wave has stretched on for a week, it’s definitely getting to me.  I’m thinking I’m not alone  as I’ve watched the temperatures soar in other parts of the country and all around the world this summer.  So to ease my conscience, I did a little poking around on the effect of heat on mental health.

Yup,  no surprise, heat effects it!  According to the American Psychiatric Association, the combination of the effects on our physical health and mental health is actually profound during a heat wave.  Emergency rooms quickly fill up with patients experiencing dehydration, delirium, and fainting.  Heat waves are also linked to a rise in depressive symptoms and anxiety.  There is also a link between daily high temperatures and suicide and suicide attempts.  For every 1 degree Celsius increase in monthly average temperature, mental health related deaths increase by 2.2%!  Spikes in relative humidity also result in a higher occurrence of suicide.  People who have bi-polar disorder or schizophrenia also are more prone to manic or psychotic episodes during times of increased heat, leading to more psychiatric hospitalizations.  Interestingly, the effectiveness of psychiatric drugs can be reduced when people are dehydrated, leading to changes in mood and functioning, as well.

Even those without a mental health disorder can have their mental health affected, including the ability to think and reason (hah, don’t I know it).  Research shows the areas of the brain responsible for framing and solving complex cognitive tasks are impaired by heat stress.  When people are not thinking clearly due to heat, it’s more likely they will become frustrated, which in turn, leads to a higher likelihood of aggression.  There is strong evidence linking extreme heat to violent crime.  Even just a one or two degree celsius increase in temperature can lead to a 3- 5% spike in assaults.  Episodes of domestic violence jump during heat waves.  

There are several things that may be underlying these changes.  Research shows that there is a complex interaction of psychological, social, and biological factors.  For instance, a brain chemical called serotonin, which regulates mood and is involved in keeping levels of aggression in check, is affected by high temperatures.  When it is hot, people tend to increase their use of alcohol and this can contribute to poor judgment or impulsive behavior.  Most people can’t sleep well when it’s hot, which also has a strong effect on people’s mood and judgment.  Over a period of days the lack of sleep can compound, making people prone to accidents and cloudy thinking.  And of course, certain people are more vulnerable to heat than others, due to occupations, living circumstances, stress levels, and hormones.  In a study by Obradovich and Paulus, the authors found that those with lower incomes were more effected by heat and women experienced worse effects than men.  Combined, they found that the effect of heat on mental health was twice as bad for low-income women as it was for high income men.  

Obviously it’s so important to protect yourself as best as possible during a heat wave, including staying hydrated and avoiding the heat exposure as much as possible.  But some good news?  Research shows a powerful protective effect when people are looking out for other people.  Neighbors checking in on neighbors and community care opportunities, like gathering at libraries or cooling centers, had a significant positive impact on reducing mental and physical health crises in both children and adults.  One piece of advice, though, from my own experience?  I welcome the caring, but just don’t get too close!