In my last blog post I wrote about the quality of “certainty” – the benefits of being “certain” to having confidence and the benefits of being “uncertain” in terms of a growth mindset.  In the days following this post, I kept reading about this quality and the  consistency in the findings about the differences between males and females.  Research shows a confidence gap, that women not only lack confidence compared to men, but that they will hold themselves back from taking action as a result.

An example of the findings regarding the gender gap in confidence is a series of  studies by Cornell psychologists David Dunning and Joyce Ehringer. After examining women and men’s performances and perceptions in a large number of different ways, they concluded, “Men overestimate their abilities and performance, and women underestimate both.  Their performance however did not differ in quality.” So even though men and women actually score the same, men assume that they did better than they did. Ernesto Rueben, a professor at Columbia, points out that men are not trying to fool anyone, they really believe it. He came up with a  term called, honest overconfidence, backed up by his study in 2011 in which men consistently rated their performance on a set of math problems to be about 30 percent better that it was.

When men  do have self doubt, it is not as repetitive and intense as women and they do not let it stop them as often as women do.  For example, in a study at Columbia Business School, women applied for a promotion only when they met 100 percent of the qualifications, while men applied when they met 50 percent.  Women, on the other hand, tend to paralyze themselves with perfectionism, supported by a large body of research in a number of arenas. We won’t turn in a report, answer a question, or take a risk until we are sure we are perfectly prepared.  Unfortunately, while we strive to be perfect, we miss out on the learning and confidence building we would gain if we tried. In her 2018 study, Kaitlyn Cooper, at Arizona State University, found that women students believed they were far less intelligent than others, even when their grades were equally as good.  She embarked on the study after noticing when advising both male and female students, that female students would frequently say they were “afraid that other students thought that they were stupid. I never heard this from my male students,” she said.

To be honest, I can’t help thinking  about this confidence gap in light of recent political events, and the education of our nation in terms of why women don’t report sexual assault or harassment.   It also struck me in the demeanor of both Judge Kavanaugh and Dr. Blasey Ford in their testimony and I wondered how our differences as men and women not only affect the way we present ourselves, but also in how we perceive one another. If men honestly believe in themselves more than is warranted and are willing to take action based on this, how will they interpret a woman’s hesitancy in speaking out? I think despite our political divide, the courage that it takes for a woman to share her experience, and the respect she deserves when she does, is an area we might all learn to agree on.