Many of us have trouble saying “no”, but how about “yes”?  I recently came to realize that this can be as difficult and as important in living a meaningful life.  As I write this, I am happy to report that I am sitting at the airport headed for an adventure that might not have happened.  It took finally saying “yes” and realizing it can make the difference between living in a mindset of deprivation or abundance.

My husband travels a lot for work and for years has been encouraging me to join him on one of his trade show trips.  My first instinct was always a “no” as the idea came with the stress of it being too expensive, taking too much time, or missing out on something I needed to be home for.  But somehow this year when he mentioned he had an extended trip and invited me to join him for his weekend of open days between shows, I countered my immediate “no” reaction with a different idea – maybe!  And the fact is, when I googled flights and travel dates (ok, a big tip, flying to or from Salt Lake City on a Sunday is cheap!), it actually was quite reasonable! And now with a few computer clicks, a few arrangements to cover obligations, and the blessing of my daughter willing to spend time with friends, I am headed to Arches National Park, where I have always wanted to go!!

This got me thinking about my deprivation attitude.  I hadn’t even realized the extent of my tendency to think things are not possible and to live in the realm of fears rather than possibility.  It got me admitting to what I miss living with my head down rather than my eyes up. My immediate reaction seems to be tending to the practical, the “have tos” and the routine.  It is a defensive way of living, I must say. Everything outside of what I think is the norm is viewed with skeptical nay saying and a pit in my stomach for the stress it may cause.  But in finally saying yes to this trip, the potential pit in my stomach is now actually butterflies of excitement.

We certainly can’t always say yes, as we do live in a world of responsibilities and accountability.  But I do see how good people over time, especially, can be trapped by the fears of deviating from what is planned or expected.  My brother in law, Dan, is an Improv performer. He told me that a basic principle which makes for a good performance is “always accept an offer.”   In this way, the flow of ideas isn’t interrupted and the layers of spontaneity lead to creativity and joyous surprises.

In the real world of my life, with financial stress and an intense work schedule, the fact is I cannot accept all offers, as is true for most people.  But I can be more open to considering all offers and not living in defensive reactivity. And this can apply to many things that don’t involve spending money or gaining weight. It can be a deviation in my drive home to watch the sunset, or coffee with someone who I’ve always shared an interest with. The point for me is to think yes, first, rather than no.  Look into it, assume it is possible rather than impossible, and be open to new experiences. It does indeed involve a little rearranging and uncertainty, but the end result will be a morning hike in Moab with the man I love.