I’m writing this week’s blog post from a hotel room while taking our daughter to college across the country from where we live. I am so impressed with her attitude and her courage in choosing an experience of living, as she calls it, “outside of our California bubble.”   There are huge opportunities for growth when you take on such a big change, standing at the edge of the chasm looking across from who you are now to who you hope to become.  But you need to make sure the leap isn’t made as an impulsive fantasy, but rather with thoughtful preparation and self awareness to guide your landing.

When opportunities for big change present themselves it can often seem like they come out of the blue, like being offered a new job with a completely different company, or meeting someone to begin a brand new relationship.  But seldom are things as random as they seem.  New opportunities don’t happen in a vacuum, they are the result of all the decisions and life choices we’ve made up to that point.  If we ignore our truths and don’t apply what we know carefully, paying close attention to the red flags of experience, we take the leap with blinders on.  We all know people who jump into a relationship or make a huge move with little information, just a hope that by making a big change their life would become happy.  Frequently these impulsive decisions backfire, and we end up back where we started, only worse (the splat after the leap).

In making big change decisions, it sure helps to plan.  Do as much research as you can about the new experience and think through how the possibilities will resonate with your goals and values.  What are the potential benefits, where might things go wrong, and what resources do you have in case?  It’s also a good idea to have a parachute.  Is the change going to head you in the direction you want to be, even if things don’t work out?  Is the experience itself going to be something you will look back on with pride and leave you feeling good about your effort and learning?

While dropping my daughter off will be hard for me (God I will miss her) it helps for me to know that she feels her choice is the best fit for her in preparing for her future.  She created her plan by working hard in high school so she would have a lot of good choices, carefully researched and visited each top choice of programs in her area of interest, and chose a school that had the best combination of the campus, resources, academics, and awarded scholarship money that worked for her. She is developing a parachute by educating herself about campus tutoring and other student services and using social media to create supportive relationships to welcome her before she even moves in.  In watching her go through the process, I have seen her change so much already!   My daughter and her friends are truly so much more aware than I was at that age, which makes me feel the world will be in good hands in the future.

Sierra, my dear, you could not be any more ready, and we are so proud of you.  Of course you will have days and experiences that will make you doubt your abilities and your decision.  If you didn’t feel the need to grow, it wouldn’t be the right place for you.  At those times, just please remember all that you have accomplished and the determination you have always used to overcome. Now go take flight.