If you’re like most people, getting motivated is hard.  And STAYING motivated is even harder!  When we set a new goal it’s usually with the image of how great it’ll be when we get there.  But along the way, after setbacks and off days, the finish line can seem farther and farther away.  The discouragement creeps in and our determination begins to fade.  It’s really natural to feel the work is pointless, or at least not worth the effort.  In a recent article by my favorite Slow AF Running Club leader, Martinus Evans, he addressed the question on how to stay motivated when progress feels so hard to come by.  I appreciated Martinus’ perspective and thought I would expand on it and share it with you. I also want to pay tribute to my Dad, this Father’s Day, another big man who defied the odds and pushed through what seemed to be the impossible.

Essentially, the key to staying motivated is to keep redefining what progress is.  If you only define success as achieving the ultimate end goal, it’ll be hard to feel any success along the way, and that’s discouraging.  If, however, you see elements of your progress as success, you’ll have many victories.  Reaching your ultimate goal will be the icing on the cake, not the party itself.  In other words, it’s important to look at the WHYS of your goal.  Is running a 10K simply about running the 10K, or is it about having something to work toward and along the way becoming more fit, getting outdoors more, and redefining yourself as an athlete?  Even if progress is slow, you’re still having success in the process.  

As Martinus puts it, “there are many kinds of wins.”  I love how he describes the day he ran in shorts for the first time, exposing his legs to the world, as a win.  He didn’t run his marathon goal that day, but he achieved real transformation.  He also states, “the pace of your progress does not determine its value.”  So wise!  As anyone who set out to do a big change knows, there is always way more challenge to it than you ever expected.  Marking and noticing small changes and victories as time goes by is a key to staying motivated.

Sometimes, achieving a goal can involve untangling years of conditioning and years of shame.  Or it can mean creating a more compassionate and insightful understanding of your current situation.  If change was easy, we would just do it!  No NIKE ad here!  We need to understand and honor the very small steps that lead us to a big change and remember that these small steps were actually the point in the first place.  If running the 10K was easy, you would just get up and do it, NIKE inspired, but where would the growth be in that?  Where would the transformation be?  You would still be the same person you were the day before.

As I’ve said many times in this blog over the years, yet, have to remind myself almost every day, change is a process.  But that IS the point, in reality!  We develop new habits, new identities, new relationships and new awareness when we go through the process of change. It truly is about the journey.  Ask any successful athlete, musician, or business person.  You have to find an aspect of positive engagement with the work in order to stay with it.   

Here are some tips to help support you in thinking about your goal in terms of its process.  Think about each step that you will need to achieve along the way.  Break your big goal down into small pieces that you can celebrate. Keep a journal to mark each success and reflect on your journey.  Writing about it can help you discover unexpected goals!  By journaling, you will notice growth in areas you didn’t even think about.  Did Martinus think to write down “Wearing shorts during a run” as a goal?  But it became an unexpected victory that had great meaning to him!  

Focus on quality, not speed.  Rushing can lead to superficial gains while taking your time can help build foundations.  Slow and steady progress usually leads to more resilience in facing setbacks or maintaining the gains you achieve.  Every crash diet I went on, including the famous “Cabbage diet” had initial weight  loss, but ended up being abandoned, even laughed at later.  Short cuts take away the change process and can rob you of the full benefit you were seeking that underlies the WHY of your desired goal. A healthy lifestyle is a much better path to healthy weight maintenance than cabbage soup!

This lesson became even more clear to me with my entry into the essay contest I shared in a recent post.  In setting my goal I learned some important things about myself along the way!  I realized that I wanted to share my writing, as it means a lot to me.  I also learned I want my writing to be evaluated and to get better at it.  I did in fact, through the process of deciding to enter the contest, writing the piece and submitting it, validate myself more as a “writer,” as opposed to someone who writes.  In all the ways I made myself vulnerable to take the risk of entering, it helped me stretch myself and what I thought I was capable of. All of these growth steps were really important for me, even before I learned of the results.

And hey, as I predicted, I didn’t win the $500 top prize, nor was I a finalist.  But I was listed with a few others as an “entry of note.”  Given the number of entrants and the fact that many were by published authors and creative writing instructors, my being mentioned as an entry of note made me want to sing!  I’ll put that one in my journal of unexpected wins.

So Happy Fathers Day, my Dad! Your memory is a blessing.